After the last two days of the journal prompts being somewhat deep, I have battled internally today on what to write for day 3’s journaling prompt.
The card pulled from the pack today said “Write about a day or experience you would rather forget.”
I could’ve quite easily gone a little dark and outlined the time I was attacked on a train or the horrific experience of watching a guy die in front of me, but frankly those memories have been dealt with and sorted in my head for a while.
No, today you’re getting silly from me.
This is Kevin.
He is generally the experience I would rather forget.
He is a 5 year old chug which means he’s 75% pug, 25% chihuahua and 100% asshole.
I got him when we found out my sister Rachel was pregnant. I really wanted another child and the timing wasn’t right. Rachel and I had had our first babies 5 months apart and I was sad I wasn’t going to be going through that again with her.
So what did I do?
I looked online and found a breeder with a litter of chugs for sale and I filled the gaping hole and desire for a baby with a fur baby.
What a stupid idea that was!
A Brief History of Kevin
Kevin is a knob
He is an absolute pain in the arse who has no hunger shut off (which is why he can gorge for hours and hours), think’s he’s a giant and will go for any dog no matter how big and he barks and makes sounds like a strangled chicken.
The experience and day I’d rather forget is today. For today I spent a chunk of my day cleaning human excrement out of his mouth, off his teeth and off his chin.
Why I hear you cry? Well, two weeks ago we realised our sewage pipe into the septic tank had come loose. We had human shite and bog roll flowing in a puddle at the back of the caravan. Luckily Kevin and our other dog Bailey had not realised. Or so we thought…
At the time, a fortnight ago, I put long latex gloves on, got a bag and started the stomach-churning but necessary task of hand scooping the sewage into a Boots carrier bag (sorry Boots). I’d got halfway through when our mate Jay (who was filming this whole hilarious charade) asked how I was going to dispose of the bag of crap.
I had no idea.
I figured I’d have to flush it bit by bit down the caravan toilet as soon as the soil pipe was fixed.
Well, I don’t know what happened, I must have got distracted. I totally forgot about that bag of crap. So I just left it by the soil pipe. Another of my many “I’ll deal with it later” jobs.
Looks like Kevin didn’t.
Oh no no no. That little disgusting scavenger sniffed out every poo particle he could source.
He has had a right old feast on it today – even tore the bag open to get to all the nutty morsels!
He smells. So goddamn bad. Oh it’s so so bad.
And look at his little shite goatee. Look at it. 🤢
A day I’d definitely rather forget!